Marriage Hong Kong Style
Wed, 2004-09-01 01:46 — Dicey
My boyfriend (HK-Chinese) and I (German) will soon get married. As to my bf who grew up in Germany, it's not important for him to have a traditional Hong Kong wedding. But I fear that his parents and relatives (<-there's a whole bunch of them) would want to have it Hong Kong Style.
Complying, I just want to know if there are any rituals or customs that are not that important and may be left out.... e.g. those teasing-games mentioned in the batgung marriage article? And do I have to wear this red dress?
Thank you in advance for your help.
Re:Marriage Hong Kong Style
Hi Dicey,
It can be a tricky balance between keeping family happy, and enjoying your day.
The only thing I can remember not agreeing too was the huge banquet dinner where every relative under the sun gets to attend. Neither of us know them well, and a formal dinner didn't sound like much fun. We ended up having an outdoor buffet dinner, with just friends and immediate family invited. Everyone had a great time. (It had to be immediate family only - if even one aunt or uncle had attended, there would have been endless grumbling about why they were favoured when others weren't!).
I've seen other couples have a Chinese banquet for one side of the family, and a western style dinner for the other.
You'll probably need to sound out your boyfriend on what his family considers important, and what isn't. Hopefully they will give you a fair amount of freedom anyway, because they know you're not Chinese. The phrase "Well, gweilos are just strange" was used several times during our wedding preparations!
We had fun going through the different rituals, so unless there is something that really bothers you I'd say to give them a try. You'll be the star of the day in any case, so have a wonderful time.
MrB